There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
