We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
