Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
