I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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