that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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