yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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