Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He felt like a one man threesome
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
