Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
