1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Oh god it's open bar.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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