i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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