talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
