my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
