if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Nicole vs. Life
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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