I am in a vortex of obligation.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
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