I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
