Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
