I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Randomize
