What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
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I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
