i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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