I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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