no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
