He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
