Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
i think im in europe. pls send help
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