They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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