I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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