Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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