Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Boobs speak an international language.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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