That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
