Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
