He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
