honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
