Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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