I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
