are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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