bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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