i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize