Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
