no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
