im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Your penis caused this!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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