I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
