Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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