Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
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