put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
