R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
