Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
