grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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