guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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