So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She needs sedatives and a leash
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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