so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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