you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
