But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
