and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
