I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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