The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
