So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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