I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
