I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
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I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
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Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?