I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
