Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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