you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i just had sex bonerless
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
