im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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