she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
These tits shall not be calmed
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
