it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
